102/365 – Sunglasses and ocular symptoms of myasthenia gravis

Many people will be doing salutations to the sun god after the recent burst of warm weather – not to mention the three month heat wave we’ve been promised. In amongst those worshipping, you may well find people with ocular myasthenia gravis. The sun means they get to blend in with everybody else. As when the sun’s out, sunglasses take over.

Sunglasses are your best friend if you suffer the ocular symptoms of MG.  They become the way to disguise your MG – to hide that part of yourself from the world. They give you privacy and an anonymity you often crave – people don’t ask what’s wrong with you nor do they stare rudely when you’re behind shades. Ok, some people do but you know it’s not because they think you’re different. They just think you’re looking hot. That’s right – with sunglasses on you get your attitude back and you know you’re looking hot. 

The only downside is there is more socialising when the sun’s out which can often lead to late nights. As I mentioned previously, there have been nights where my glasses have been politely asked to leave. No matter how many times I try, it’s scientifically proven that it’s impossible to wear sunglasses once the sun has gone down without looking like a tool. The spell is broken – you become self conscious again and long for the next day when the world will be experienced through tinted glass once more.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – this year I’m going to stop beating myself for ‘being vain‘. As I’ve already established this so-called vanity is actually a grieving process. Part of this kindness I’m offering myself is to accept that giving my heavy eyelids a break behind the sunglasses is ok. In fact it’s probably quite good for them considering the strain they face trying to force themselves up when the MG wants it otherwise.

But I will not use them to hide anymore and I will not wish away my summer nights. Instead I will embrace the fluctuation and be grateful on those nights where I can fling the glasses to the bottom of my handbag without a care. Those other nights where it’s more difficult to put them away will come and they will go. When they are gone, it won’t be memories of sunglasses that fill me up but memories of being alive.

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