At the wedding I wrote about in my last post, one of my friends told me about her recent diagnosis with an auto immune disease. She’s still in the very early stages of dealing with it and hasn’t sought support from people with the same condition yet. She was saying many things that went through my own head during the early days of MG and is currently battling many things I still struggle with.
The main thing she was swithering with was going full throttle with dancing and drinking or holding back knowing that she would be in a better state over the following days. I too have this fight regularly – I’m pictured above on the day after the wedding in ‘recovery’ mode. It’s the constant battle for someone living with a condition like ours – the instant reward of having fun in the moment and dealing with the consequences later or being steadily well behaved. It’s what the spoon theory is all about.
While people deal with this differently, being consistently well behaved is hard to adapt to for my generation as we’re told that it’s boring. So it’s a balance I haven’t mastered nor am I particularly keen to get to grips with. It takes strength of character to say no when you know yes is the fun answer. It’s the space where you might lose ‘friends’, where ‘relationships’ might break down and where you try to figure out what your new limits are.
There are no easy answers and, as I say, it’s still something I still battle regularly. The main thing is being honest with those around you and expecting them to understand. If they don’t, it’s time to start questioning why they deserve a place in your life. More often than not, I find my loved ones gently challenge me if I’m being wreckless or destructive.