At the start of this week I was in a pretty dark place and I didn’t know which way was up. There’s been a lot going on recently and I felt completely unmotivated to do any of the issues I’m faced with. I always find it easier to bury myself in work, to spend all my thinking time exercising or to focus my attention on worrying about others, but that can be extremely destructive. Thankfully, I have a saint of a girlfriend who knew the right questions to ask to get me to talk.
For someone that never seems to stop talking, or if I’m being kinder to myself a people person, I’m not great at opening up. It doesn’t come naturally to speak about things I’m struggling to cope with; it doesn’t come naturally to allow myself to be vulnerable. Why should it..I’m Scottish and repressed emotions are a national characteristic.
Anyway, it came to a head this week and I had a crying fest. Letting go after weeks of trying to keep it together was the start of me feeling better. I identified several key things that are negatively impacting me at present including feeling directionless with my MG treatment. On the back of this, I decided to contact Myaware to speak to a counsellor and just a day after filling out the online form I received a call to set up a time to have a phone chat.
This week has reminded me how one small positive step can start a chain reaction. Finding the motivation to tackle one thing can be enough to start a complete overhaul.