Tag Archives: love

234/365 – Three years of love and support

Yesterday was the three year anniversary of Elaine getting conned into being my girlfriend. While it falling on a Tuesday wasn’t ideal, we decided to make the most of it…starting out with me accompanying her to get a small medical procedure done. Nothing says romance like a deathly pale face and a look of terror in the eyes. 

While we did a bit of celebrating in the evening – dinner at a restaurant we’d always wanted to try and a cocktail – it will probably be the medical procedure and the recovery time that is most memorable. 

Elaine now lets me look after her when she’s feeling fragile and likewise I let her care for me when I’m struggling to function with my MG. While we are opposite ends of the spectrum in some regards, we’re alike in that allowing ourselves to be  vulnerable doesn’t come naturally. Yet, in the last year, I’ve allowed Elaine to wash and tend to me while recovering from a thymectomy and she’s allowed me to nurse her while recovering from surgery for a cyst. Neither of us are nurses by nature, but we enjoy looking after the other precisely because we know it’s a rare privilege bestowed only on the worthy. 

Looking back at our three years together, two and a half of which I’ve had myasthenia symptoms, Elaine has been an absolute rock every step of the way. She has provided laughs when desparately needed, asked questions when I’ve not had the strength, provided hugs on tap, compliments and reassurance when I’ve felt like nobody could possibly be attracted to me and most of all, a kick up the arse if I’ve appeared to be slumping into self pity. 
As we sipped our gorgeous cocktails in the red light of the Arts Theatre Club last night, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I can’t wait for another three years with this beautiful woman. 

196/365 – For better or worse

Saturday was my first wedding this year and one of my favourite days of 2015 so far. Considering her key role in the party flat at university, and her love of bringing people together, I had no doubt my good friend Anna would ensure it was a day and night to remember. While running to catch our bus back to Edinburgh laughing, after hours spent ceilidhing and catching up, I promised to try to capture the same joy on my own wedding day. 

Of course there is another side to weddings for people with myasthenia. Up until writing this blog, I mistakenly thought this was the first wedding since being diagnosed with myasthenia, but then I remembered just a month after getting my diagnosis I went to a family friend’s big day. I had blocked it out because it wasn’t a particularly happy occasion for me. Below I am pictured as I spent the majority of the day – in sunglasses. Despite being surrounded by family, I spent the day in hiding. 

While this weekend’s wedding was easier, as I’m further into my MG journey, I still spent some of the day in my ‘Blues Brother’ glasses. I took an extra steroid on the morning of the wedding to try to maximise my strength and, I’m not ashamed to say, for vanity’s sake. I hoped it would lift my eyelid enough to stop me feeling self conscious. My instinct was still to put my glasses on for the more important photos to make sure ‘droopy eye’ didn’t ruin them, but I tried to challenge this way of thinking. 

Either way, I spent a lot less time thinking about it at this wedding and a lot more time enjoying myself. That was testament to the great friends made at uni, to the positive energy surrounding the occasion and I think to the slow acceptance of my condition.