96/365 – Out of spoons

I realised how appropriate the spoonie theory is last night, as I slumped over my plate of dinner struggling to find the energy to eat. If Elaine hadn’t been home, I may have had it in me to make some toast but nothing more. Thankfully she cooked us something more substantial, but, as I said above, even eating it took all I had left. Within 15 minutes of finishing eating, I was passed out in bed. 

I’d had a good start to the day and a productive day at work, however in the early afternoon I felt my period come on. That’s when I realised that I wasn’t just symptomatic because I had a good time in Dublin. As I wrote previously, every month it takes me by surprise how much my period affects me. It is always when I’m most symptomatic – particularly fatigued. It is when I have to say ‘not today’.

I had a 4pm meeting at Holborn, but on the way there I started to feel really unwell. After it I decided that going to Childline to volunteer was not the best idea, so I headed straight home and took a long bath. Elaine advised me afterwards that perhaps this wasn’t the best idea with no one else around but it’s the only thing I could think would help at the time. It helped distract me and certainly helped me sleep well.

Playing guitar took the last of my spoons before I had dinner and bed. I felt well and truly spent and dreaded how I would feel the next day. 

Thankfully, I woke up this morning not exactly jumping out of bed to seize the day but feeling like my spoon reserve had been topped up enough to get me through. As you can see from the picture above, I’m far from full strength at the moment but my symptoms will hopefully get better over the next few days.

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